Ten Reasons to Ban Guns

1. Most people can’t be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.

2. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control, but statistics showing increasing murder rates after gun control are “just statistics.”

3. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun shows.

4. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time; but anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.

5. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

6. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchers but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

7. Charlton Heston, a movie actor as president of the NRA was a cheap lunatic who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas, a movie actor as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN Arms Control Summit.

8. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with trigger locks on their duty weapon.

9. Police officers have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens can never hope to obtain.

10. Private citizens don’t need a gun for self- protection because the police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the police are not responsible for their protection.

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2 Responses to Ten Reasons to Ban Guns

  1. Meph says:

    This is one of my favorite bits of cynicism, if only it could be posted in every news paper…

  2. Peak Crackers says:

    LOL Love number 10 … a police officer is to expensive and heavy to carry around for protection

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